altruistic socialization

“Positive or altruistic and principled sociability is firmly linked with the family, and with the quantity and quality of self-worth. This is, in turn, dependant largely on the track of values and experience provided by the family at least until the child can reason consistently. In other words, the child who works and eats and plays and has his rest and is read to daily, more with his parents than with his peers, senses that he is part of the family corporation needed, wanted, depended upon. He is the one who has a sense of self-worth. And when he does enter school, preferably not before 8 to 10, he usually becomes a social leader. He knows where he is going, is independent in values and skills. He largely avoids the dismal pitfalls and social cancer of peer dependency. He is the productive, self-directed citizen our nation badly needs”.

Raymond Moore said a lot in that statement.

There’s a thread of thought and research that suggests that children up to the grade six level who spend less extra time with their parents tend to become peer-dependant. They are essentially socialized by their peers. They learn to relate like their peers. They learn kindness, or unkindness. They learn to share and think of others’ needs, or their own needs first. They learn to listen when spoken to, or override conversations and demand attention. They learn to encourage and praise others’ abilities, or they seek to emphasize their own. They learn to share the limelight, or compete for first prize. They learn to assert themselves, or cower, or aggressively overwhelm. They learn to listen to others’ hearts, or live in their lonely little worlds.

What have you observed of children socialized through school or family?