dashed expectations and blissful reality

May 2013 131  May 2013 102May 2013 018No question, parenting wasn’t as I imagined it before I birthed my first. No question, neither was home educating after my first year. In both camps, I have had far more frustration and confounding moments than I conceived were possible. In both camps, I have had far deeper satisfaction and happiness than I imagined could happen daily, all messily mixed into those frustrations.

No question though, both parenting and home educating have required me to sit and continually evaluate, what do I want for this part of my life and theirs, anyway? What do I hope to create as memories? What kind of fun do I want to experience with them for the time they are with me? What do I hope the messages of my life will send, never mind the ones I’m unaware that I’m sending? What daily activities are important for them to learn? Life habits like brushing their teeth to regular reading times, to how many activities I should schedule to how much time do we expend in social endeavours. What character traits do I hope to instill? What character traits do I quickly need to learn? How much time do I want to spend scolding or giving consequences and how much time do I want to give grace and forgive their childhood follies?

Whatever things I think I can mold there are so many things about them I can’t mold, like who they were born into the world to be. In fact, the essence of who they were born to be is influencing me, my experience of life, and propels my life into directions unforeseen. I celebrate that, the magical unknown, and more importantly, the beauty of the little ones that came from me, but whose person I didn’t have any influence on creating, really. I watch in awe…

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