family life / parenting

the blog I’ve never read

The blog I’ve never read might be out there on the World Wide Web, but I’ve not come across it. I’ve not seen a Pinterest pic of Ryan Gossling attached to one of those pithy sayings that gets my attention (cause it’s the sayings, not Ryan Gossling that gets my attention–smiley face here). Maybe I haven’t seen it, because it’s not fun to talk about.

I might title the blog, “The disadvantages and advantages on home educated children in learning about marriage, relationships and all-things-family-harmony“. But then, I might not, cause that’s kinda long.

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. But if you’re saying you’ve got it, I’d love to be mentored by you.

I’ll stay at your house sometime early December, right before you frantically attempt at completing and clearing all that curriculum from your desks so you have time for some Christmas cheer. Or I could be the fly on the wall for the first few months after your first or second babies are born. Or two days before your monthly friend visits, when no one’s quiet enough, the house isn’t clean enough and he seems to always say the right thing to make it all better.

Or you fill-in-the-blank to whatever seems to get the two of you going…

There’s no perfect marriage

When home educating the gaggle of girls, the brood of boys, or the crew of kidlets, those kiddos get to see it all!

Even if you step into another room, they’ve got their spider sense wired high. We’re the WiFi hotspot to their iPod. They’ve got you on auto-detection, auto-reception, mind-to-mind perception.

They know where the two of you are at. They knew what gets mom or dad going. They might even know better what will get them to stop going…

Or what mom says to dad, or dad says to mom, that confuses, confounds, or expounds unpleasantries. They are in the house, most of the time with you; how could they not understand?

Perhaps they don’t have a mature understanding of how the relationship flows or all the dynamics and history the two of you know. Or the relationship skills you’ve learned from tenacious grit and stubborn persistence. But they are watching you!

They are being taught what value relationships have, how one speaks to their significant other, what one should expect from the other.

It’s all being taught, with or without the yet-unpublished Relationship 101 for Kids manual. It’s being taught by the daily, unpublished, non-copyrighted, but definitely mirrored patterns and tone of our marriages.


This is a daunting thought. But possibly only daunting for the newly minted parents, or also the newly minted homeschoolers… The rest of us have been there, thought about that.

I’ve come to terms with it, mostly. As with parenting, marriage, or pretty much every role we play in life, we come up imperfect, And because of grace, forgiveness, and humility, we can walk continually toward graciousness, forgiveness, humbling ourselves, so we can learn what needs to be learned, so we can grow in harmony and happiness and purpose in our place in this world. So that we can keep on keeping on…

I ponder all these things on the day after our fourteenth wedding anniversary. After fourteen years, our happily ever after includes three daughters and one son. We have a crew of kiddos watching us.

Ours is a story, like many others’ stories, or possibly not at all like your story. It is a story of grace, of forgiveness, of humility. So we keep on keeping on, though we’re likely teaching them a whole bunch of stuff they’ll need to unlearn in their marriages, their families, we’re also teaching them grace, forgiveness, and humility.

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