1. It’s July 2, and you’re asking if you can stop doing your math workbook.
2. Your mom is asking you to make lunch for your ‘classmates’.
3. Recess is walking to Starbucks to buy your mom a cappuccino.
4. You know how to use the cappuccino machine, and possibly also how to pour a glass of wine, and maybe even know how to mix a gin and tonic.
5. You know your mom is seriously holding it together when asked whether homeschooling is legal.
6. And you’re pretty certain that you see her eyes roll to the back of her head when she’s being asked about your socialization.
7. Mom is regularly changing her PIN codes because everyone has memorized them.
8. Mom finds a way to make every extracurricular activity a discussion, or a report. And by extracurricular which might also include walking through the grocery store line-up that prompts a discussion on current events.
9. Mom is more excited about summer camp than you are…and curiously seems to be collecting a healthy stack of paperbacks on her nightstand.
10. Complete strangers believe in your mother’s sainthood. You hear people say to her, “I could never do what you’re doing”, actual bows toward her, you even hear them saying “your kids look at you like you’re God” (ok, that’s only happened to me once). You can’t quite fathom what part of the world just blew up and blasted these worshippers to your mother’s planet. If they only knew…