stuff that makes me think

brene brown thoughts: framework for life

New Year was just behind us, and the doldrums of February are upon us. It’s the time to keep on keeping on.

In the spirit of refreshing our thoughts and continuing to grow despite the dormant winter phase, I share (and interact with) Brene Brown’s thoughts. Author of Daring Greatly, Gifts of Imperfections, and Rising Strong, Brown is a powerhouse of helpful thought.

1. “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

This has been a difficult thing for me to learn. It requires risk that inevitably guarantees hurt at some point. When you show people who you really are, someone will eventually reject the real you. Ouch!

On the other hand, if you never really show up, you’re ‘real you’ will never really be acknowledged or accepted. So you’ll have to live without real acceptance. A fake form of acceptance, unreliable charm, that’s all you get. As much as you can earn, hustle or finagle out of life’s circumstances, or other people. Not worth the effort.

Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.

2. “What we know matters, but who we are matters more.”

And try as we might, when we try to portray an image of knowing, rather than just being, people are wiser and can see through our façade. So no point putting on an image of something we think we should be, or like to be, rather just be what we are and back to #1, have the courage to just be it. Because what we know matters,  but who we are matters more.

3. “Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

Yet they can be perceived that way by the fakers, the actors, the fearful ones, the hustlers. (The people that don’t show up and let themselves be real in front of other people.) Owning what we know to be true, in kindness and grace, is definitely not always comfortable. But when we do, we enable others to be themselves too.

Being real: not weakness.

4. “Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

Wowsas. Also true of my personal experience. How successful is successful enough? How productive is productive enough? When I really understood that I, my mortal self, am on a timeline, it puts into perspective how meaningless investing primarily in production or conventional success really is. Everything we’ve built will come to an end–so we build it with perspective.

Standards of perfection keep us from being happy, both within ourselves and with our relationship with other people.

What do these first four thoughts bring to your mind? What are you learning?

 

 

3 thoughts on “brene brown thoughts: framework for life

  1. I’ve lost potential friendships because I was too real and shared too much of my past, and so for years I tried not to be so open, not to share so much of myself with others. But that was a lot of effort and now I realize people can either accept me or not but I’m going to be my authentic self no matter what.

    • Oh yes I’ve been there too. I have learned not to share things that require a Longer term trusting relationship. When I think of being myself I don’t mean ‘letting it all hang out’. (I used to think that way though). And I learned the hard way.

    • I am with you n being my authentic self though. That is required. And it’s becoming more authentic as I understand myself more. I tend to be more accepting of others now, more willing to find common ground now, because I’m more accepting of myself. Go figure!

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