mama self care

homeschool mama self-care: new years resolutions rejected and revisited

Homeschool mama self-care means we need to reconsider our New Year’s resolutions.

That New Year’s resolutions that most North Americans point to every single year, the ‘lose weight’ one, I gave that one up years ago.

Here’s why.

First, because I’m resisting a North Americanized version of perfect image. I’m as valuable as any human being, in or out of size six pants. And I don’t choose to be publicly admired to know it.

Secondly, because I was steeped in unhealthy body image issues as a child. I grew up listening to messages that said I was valuable because I was tall, thin, blond and pretty.

When I gained weight in my twenties, people noticed. It wasn’t profound weight gain, just ‘throw me off the pedestal’ weight gain. Food became my coping mechanism through my twenties, and I don’t even want to analyze my pregnant/nursing years…I was just hungry.

I did gain too much weight. And after my fourth and final child was born, I decided it was no longer an option to huff and puff as I went up and down the stairs.

I chose to get healthier. 

I became active. And despite still not being a size six, I am more active these days than I ever have been.

However, I’ve still struggled to make the right food choices.

I’ve told myself: I’m not obese. I can eat my lays potato chips and drink gin and tonic with my hubby. Christmas Eve prime rib dinner and New Year’s Day vereneke and farmer sausage with sour cream is a tradition. I can enjoy my baked brie and cream buns for Christmas breakfast and Sweet Georgia Browns on Christmas Day. I can forget nutritious dietary habits for the holidays. Carpe diem.

My pendulum always swings too far.

Carpe diem doesn’t apply to nutrition choices.

A few years ago my husband planned a New Year’s Eve outing, just the two of us. I really wanted to hang together as a family: fun food, of course: cheese fondue, chocolate fondue, and those chex chocolate icing sugar snacks and fun activities: minute to win it games, dancing, and watching the ball drop.

Instead, my husband and I went to emerg for gallbladder pain. I exercised regularly and live an active life, but my body was not meant to eat what I had been eating.

It’s New Years again. How many have written “gonna lose weight this year” on their resolution list?

A few. (It also happens to be cholecystectomy season…removal of the gallbladder for overeating high fat food).

I’m not adding “lose weight” to this year’s resolution though. Instead, I will continue to work towards a more nutritious approach instead of this delusional notion that I can eat what I like in moderation.

On the top of my list is that my notion of moderation has to become a whole lot more moderate.

And I can carpe diem life, instead of food.

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