family life / homeschooling / self-care-practices

homeschool mama self-care: if you’re unhappy and you know it

Homeschool mama self-care means we identify when we don’t feel happy.

I had been rudely awakened by the home alarm. Seven o’clock on the dot.

I intended to wake at that time yesterday. Yet, I would have gladly ignored the alarm for another half hour to finish my dream.

When I descended to the main level, I feel draggy and achy. Two kids are achy and sick to their stomachs.

An unpleasant start to the day.

I make my coffee: too much water, not enough coffee grounds. The shot of caffeine I’m looking for will require me to drink six mugs.

Troubles come in threes I’m told….let’s hope the coffee thing is the third.

There’s an undeniable truth I’ve come to understand about parenting: if you’re happy, sad, mad or glad, you’ll see that reflected in your kids.

No, I’m not trying to suggest that they are a full mirror image of our selves. They have their separate personalities, energies and approaches, but if I’m not feeling great, they’re often not either. If I’m chipper, they feed on that energy too.

Kinda like a mama bird feeding her baby birds. It isn’t direct nourishment like a mama bird though: I’m not feeding them angry pills at that time of the month. I’m not feeding them amphetamines when I’m happy. Or antidepressants when I’m depressed. There is, though, an energy transmitted from me to them that occurs like the osmosis of a fluid across the cell membrane. One doesn’t have to force, it just happens.

Drat! If only that weren’t so. We could live in our bubbles of irritation when it suited us and react any old way. We could brood because something didn’t turn out the way we wanted. We could eat our chocolate almonds and Lays potato chips in bed and watch Netflix on our iPod all day when we weren’t feeling good.

We need to acknowledge our emotions. Deny them and there won’t be a solution to not feeling the negative emotions continually.

The consequences will come out in stilted or destructive engagements with others.

There’s just no way around bad feelings. We must go through the muck to get out of the muck.

Having said that, we are responsible for containing our emotions.

See Dick run. Jane runs too. See Dick smile. Jane smiles too. See Dick call names. Jane calls names too.

I ask myself, why am I feeling what I’m feeling? I sit with that for a while. I accept that my emotions are vulnerable to illness, to a jolted morning, and that I just feel off.

Is it true that the rest of my day will be miserable? It sure will be if I assume it will be.

If I assume it will be a decent day, though possibly a slower day, could it be?

So, though the coffee beside me is now diluted AND cool. Even though the piercing pain behind my right ear hasn’t been resolved yet. Even though two kids aren’t eager to do anything but laze on the sofa, I will walk out this door, accept the energy of my heart, be mindful of their energy, and accept the day as it is.

The days will get brighter, they always do.

Just as the clouds of the sky pass by through the sky, the energy of this day shall pass too.

Now, I can choose to have a new start to my day and my espresso machine will have a new start too.

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3 thoughts on “homeschool mama self-care: if you’re unhappy and you know it

  1. Drat that! Why is it that imitation, being the sincere flattery that it is, not always so flattering?

    • Yup. Not that i think we should take responsibility for their maladaptive behaviours…but we have to figure it our own if we don’t want to watch sone of it transmitted. But its more the underlying tone that i think is even more difficult to address. Cause we don’t see what we need to deal with.

  2. Love it – I so agree with you that the way we feel is reflected in our children. However, I have found lately being honest, particularly with the eldest, is so much easier. Mommy is having one of those days so instead of me losing it we are going to call it – do a as little as possible day, or read as much as you can day, or what movie haven’t we seen day, or let’s see how wrinkly our pyjamas can get day, or yes minecraft is educational day…. lol … I think you get my point. Love to read your stuff – wish we lived closer.
    Have a great day – I think for us we will declare it – chocolate is nutritional day!!!

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