How to Deal with Homeschool Mama Guilt (In No Easy Steps)

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If you’ve ever wondered how to deal with homeschool mama guilt, here’s the truth: I have a hard time laughing off parenting fails…

So laughing off homeschool mama guilt: can it be done?

I have a hard time laughing off parenting fails — said every homeschool mom, but definitely me.

But when I shared a genuine parenting failure with a friend, she laughed. She laughed.

If you’d rather listen than read, hit play above — I talk through exactly how to deal with homeschool mama guilt in this episode, mistakes and all. Prefer to keep reading? Let’s get into it.

I knew my heart was safe with her because she didn’t see my parenting fail the way I did. I also knew her well enough to know she’d agree that I hadn’t approached my child the right way — which made her laugh feel all the more surprising.

Her laugh wasn’t a laugh of mockery. What I heard in it, and what I learned from her afterward, was that I’d surprised her — it didn’t strike her that I’d approach my child like that.

(Even I surprised myself in that moment. Welcome to parenting: you don’t do as you thought you would, before you were a parent.)

Her laugh spoke to me: “Relax, you made a mistake. Oh well. Your ineffective parenting strategy wasn’t a sign that you should self-condemn, heaping mama guilt onto yourself. Accept your reality — you’re human, and also a parent. You’ll make mistakes.”

And if you want to know how to deal with THOSE homeschool days?

Instead of focusing on your past mistakes, focus on what you’re becoming, homeschool mama.

Before we get into the steps

Before we dive into how to deal with homeschool mama guilt step-by-step, it helps to know exactly what kind of guilt you’re carrying — because false guilt and earned guilt need completely different fixes. Take five minutes to find out what’s really driving yours:

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So how do we deal with homeschool mama guilt?

Being honest about our parenting missteps keeps us humble — and keeps us from judging other parents, because we know we’re not in a special league.

I might be Mother Teresa (Teresa is my first name, ha), but I’ll never live up to the perception behind that name. Just ask my kids. Actually — don’t.

So when another mama recently told me she felt like she wasn’t measuring up — that she wasn’t the kind of gentle mom who stops to chat every time her child walks in the room, answers every question with endless patience, or never gets annoyed by the noise of kids playing loudly — and she worried she wasn’t spending enough time playing games with her kids, I told her the same thing I’ll tell you: don’t buy into the guilt.

Guilt doesn’t propel us to make useful choices.

We’re more likely to hide when we let ourselves be consumed by guilt. We’re less likely to make intentional choices or shift in a healthier direction — and that shift is exactly what we need when a parenting choice is making us feel guilty in the first place.

Yes, we all have reasons to feel guilty

Sometimes the guilt is earned — our parenting choice wasn’t the wisest one, and we know it. (I don’t need to give you an example. You already thought of yours the moment you started reading this.)

This might help you get there: How to Be a Gentle Homeschool Mom, Even to Your Kids

Other times, we feel guilty because we’re trying to appease unrealistic expectations — our own, or someone else’s. Often, it’s a mix of both.

If you want to watch me talk through this — the parenting fail, my friend’s laugh, and what I actually learned about false guilt vs. true guilt — here’s the full story:

How to deal with homeschool mama guilt: 9 not-so-easy steps

1. Identify the source of your guilt

Clarify whether it’s false guilt or true guilt. What are you planning to do about it, either way?

2. Practice self-compassion

What would you say to a friend in your position? Write down the guilt-inducing scenario to get it out of your head. Use the Emotions GPS. Practice self-forgiveness.

3. Challenge your thoughts

• Is this true?
• Are you 100% certain it’s true?
• Are there alternative thoughts about this scenario?
• If you believed those alternative thoughts instead, what would the natural outcome be?

Learn more about how assessing your thoughts matters to your homeschool mom life.

4. Take responsibility

Apologize, if it’s warranted. Make amends. Make a “next step” plan. Talk with a friend, a therapist, or book a conversation with me to get clarity on what’s next.

5. Learn from your mistakes — without self-condemning

There’s a difference between owning a true-guilt moment and using it to relabel your identity. Don’t make a mistake in the moment into a verdict on who you are.

6. Seek support

Guilt alone won’t propel you toward becoming the homeschool mama you actually want to be. Support will.

7. Practice mindfulness

You’ve only got the present moment — so be present in it.

“Life is available only in the present moment.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

8. Take care of you

Recognize that you’re not a superhero. Because you’re human, you have needs too. (Tell me in the comments how you’re looking after yourself lately.)

9. Practice self-forgiveness

“Forgiving yourself for what you didn’t know before you learned it is a requirement… Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” — Maya Angelou

Instead of staying stuck, decide there’s something here for you to grow into — the internal work that helps you show up on purpose, in a way you’re even proud of. Do that, and eventually, you might just laugh off the guilt too.

Using self-compassion strategies will always benefit every big emotion you experience.

Reading about how to deal with homeschool mama guilt is a start — but guilt has a sneaky way of resurfacing on the next hard day unless you’ve got a go-to tool for it. That’s exactly why I made this:

Big Emotions Journal for the Homeschool Mom

Are you a homeschool mom navigating the ups and downs of daily life with your kids? The Homeschool Mama’s Toolbox is a powerful resource to help you manage big emotions — anger, guilt, overwhelm — with clarity and intention.

$9.99 $6.99 Shop now →

Find more homeschool encouragement here:

• Why I Homeschool: Unexpected Challenges & My Transformation
• Before the guilt, there was the why — this post walks through what actually pulled me into homeschooling, and how the journey reshaped me along the way.
• How to Deal with Those (Failure) Days in 5 Easy Steps
• Guilt and failure days go hand in hand — here’s what to do the moment a day falls apart, so you can reset instead of spiral.
• Practical (& Useful) Steps to Dealing with Boundaries in Your Homeschool
• Half of homeschool guilt comes from boundaries we never set (or don’t trust ourselves to hold) — this one gives you the practical steps to fix that.
• How to Address Doubt in Your Homeschool Choice with Confidence & Intention
• When guilt whispers “maybe you’re doing this all wrong,” doubt is usually standing right behind it — here’s how to face that doubt head-on and choose your path with confidence.

Ready to Stop Dealing with Homeschool Mama Guilt Alone?

You don’t have to carry this guilt alone, and you don’t have to figure out your next step by yourself either. If you’re ready for some clarity and a plan that actually fits your family, let’s talk it through together.

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Published March 18, 2024 — Updated August 29, 2026