If I had my child to raise over again this is what I would do

Why is it that our children are always the most beautiful children in the world?

I think my sister was tapping into the reason when she said: they are a combination of the people we think most beautiful in the world, ourselves, and our partner.

Rather presumptuous it may sound, but I think it’s probably true. We identify with those features: because they’re familiar.



If I had to raise my child all over again

When one of our kids comfortably shine in a group, that must be my imprinting. (But when our child says something awkward that must be me too.)

I believe they are their own person too…entirely created for a different reason than just representing their parents.

It is these character imperfections that get my attention more often than the character perfections though.

My desire to right the wrong often takes precedence. I focus on what my child isn’t doing right.

A wise woman once said that it isn’t the time you yelled at them in the van outside the grocery store that they remember or the days of planning for their birthday party.

It is the overarching energy you were conveying the entire time: the energy that often went unsaid.

The things that are remembered are the things that showed themselves as valuable in our lives, with or without our spoken word.



children playing water guns: this is what I’d do all over again

I’m in the midst of my parenting years, as my oldest is 12 and my youngest is four and two in between, I’ll read this, write this, and try to remember this:


“If I had to raise my child all over again

I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I’d finger paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch more with my eyes.

I would care to know less and know to care more.

I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.

I’d stop playing serious and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars

I’d do more hugging and less tugging.

I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often.

I would be firm less often and affirm much more.

I’d model less about the love of power,

And more about the power of love”.



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