People question whether homeschooling is at least a little inappropriate for the mere disadvantage of its socialization issue.
So how can homeschool socialization be quantified?
How could a child not survive without a cloister of twenty-five same-aged peers surrounding them eight hours a day?
I know I’m happier not living alongside that many people.
Theoretically, Meyers Briggs suggests I’m an extrovert. But I like quiet and being alone at the best and worst of times.
As for having same-aged friends, I certainly don’t ask people how old they are before I decide to be friends with them.
I didn’t learn a lot of healthy social habits like kindness, selflessness, and all those other useful relational tools from childhood playground friends (though some of their parents were great examples).
Perhaps there’s an underlying assumption that children come into the world prepared to deal with other people.
As children, as with all people, we have our idiosyncrasies and emotional hardwiring, some relatively harmless, some harmful.
We all have to undo some of that emotional hardwiring to be happy.
Whether it’s healthy parental examples, mentoring friendships, or learning by trial and error in long-term partnering or parenting, we all find ourselves learning what we need to learn to engage in healthy, fulfilling relationships.
No formal class is required. (Though it sure might be helpful).
Homeschooled children have a constant guide. No, not an omnipresent guide. We’re not in the same room all the time. Our kids like to have separate time too.
- But we guide them in their sibling relationships and their friendships.
- We teach them to be assertive, to be less aggressive, to be honest, considerate, whatever applies.
- We talk through their peer struggles.
- We’re the same as any aware and interested parent.
Our kids are learning from our habits, our ways of showing up in relationships, and how we’re socializing.
They are less likely to become peer-dependent (unless their parents are that),
They are less likely to play one-upmanship games (unless parents do that) because our children are highly valued in our little social circle,
They are less likely to overlook their friends’ needs (unless their parents do that) because they know their sibling is highly valued in our little social circle,
They are less likely to listen to their friends’ thoughts over their inner thoughts (unless their parents do that)…
Monkey see, monkey do.
Now if I just answered a question about socialization that you were not thinking about and you’d just like to know if homeschoolers are stuck in the house, caged like monkeys in a zoo, well, that’s a different question.
That is a discussion on social opportunities.
Between violin, piano, drama, homeschool co-op, grocery shopping, guitar, youth group, gymnastics, dancing, skating, soccer, tennis, baseball, the mall, playdates, traveling to the library, or traveling to another part of the world, yup, we’ve got social opportunities covered.
(Frankly, we need to find time away from too much of that, like everyone else in this culture…but that’s a different discussion).
The only difference between our kids’ extracurricular time and their previous schooled existence is that we have much more time to do a wider berth of activities. We prefer scheduling them during the day and we don’t always choose to do them for two semesters in a row.
Assuming that socialization is intended to prepare a human to become a productive, contributing member of society, let’s take a look at the statistics (presented by Paul Farris, HSLDA lawyer in a homeschool seminar):
Do homeschooled children become good productive citizens and productive members of society?
- They are more likely to go to post-secondary school and further in post-graduate training. Whereas, schooled students are less likely to go on to university. Weird. That’s not what I would have guessed, especially since people are so worried about the kids actually qualifying for college. (Oh, and if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, the university is not the only way to be a productive member of society…I agree).
- Home-grown (home-educated) adults come out across the job spectrum, and also are more likely to vote and be political participants.
- 69% were involved in community groups, versus their 48% interested counterparts.
- They are more likely to give to charities.
- 93% are salaried and 32% receive sources of self-employed income (and if you’re astute and questioning my math, I asked how that could be….salaried people can also receive self-employed income)…all this to say that they are more likely to be self-employed than the average population, significantly higher than the average population.
- Homeschoolers have more kids. Well, this one you didn’t wonder about..we are more likely to have 3.5 kids (ever pregnant, haha), and schooled population has the classic 1.8 kids (also ever pregnant–this wasn’t in the first section of my stats class–how do they figure these things out?)
- 33% have investment income…pretty remarkable considering the adults researched weren’t over thirty. Yet, it wasn’t coming from their parents, because the average income of homeschooling families, is, well, average. (If you want to know more details, you can check out the HSLDA website).
- Home-grown adults were significantly more involved in sports than the average population. In Kenya, I met a homeschooled family whose children had plenty of time to occupy themselves. One of their boys practiced football maneuvers for hours each day; he was awarded a scholarship to Notre Dame for football just this past season! Of course, one person doesn’t make a research study.
- Home-grown adults are less likely to watch television but more likely to participate in cultural activities.
At the very least, an honest observer could confess, we grow up to be pretty regular people.
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