7 Simple Real Reasons You Lose Motivation in October

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Prefer to listen? This is Episode 4 of the Confident Homeschool Mom podcast.

Why do you lose motivation homeschooling every October? Your plan might feel as slow as molasses. At this time of the year, many moms assume they need a better routine or more motivation. Often, though, the real issue isn’t motivation at all. It’s capacity: how much you can actually hold this week, in this season, as a real human being.

Sometimes the real struggle isn’t choosing a method; it’s the overwhelm underneath it. Take my free quiz to find out what’s really driving your homeschool overwhelm, so you can make choices from clarity instead of pressure.

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This is Episode 4 of Coming Home to Yourself, a season of the Confident Homeschool Mom podcast. In Episode 2, we started with how to create a homeschool vision statement. In Episode 3, we looked at homeschool mom anger and big emotions. Today we’re in Module 3 of the Reimagine framework I use in coaching every week. To catch the full framework, watch the Reimagine Masterclass here.

Why You Lose Motivation Homeschooling by October

You created your plan back in June. Or maybe you created it at a homeschool conference in May in the vendor hall (done that!). Or, if you’ve been homeschooling for many years, maybe it was officially created in late July or August.

No matter when you created it, your first month or two were built on hope and anticipation. You had a new plan, new activities, maybe a new stack of books, and excitement about the year ahead.

But by mid-October, that anticipation turns into more ordinary, predictable energy. Perhaps the skies are grayer outside your home, literally. And if you’re perimenopausal, that fog might be inside your brain too, as you forget how to explain fractions mid-sentence and feel like you need to crash at two in the afternoon.

Meanwhile, many women who lose motivation homeschooling read it as a personal failing and decide they aren’t doing enough. They don’t think they have the wherewithal to do this life well. Some say they need a better routine. Others say that, despite wanting one, they don’t have the executive functioning to make it happen.

Here’s the thing, though: when you lose motivation homeschooling, it’s likely not a better schedule you need.

My Septembers: The Seasons of a Homeschool

Every September, I implemented a new schedule, a new plan, and a new excitement about our upcoming year. That was true every single year, except the years we visited West Africa and Italy. In those years, we began our homeschool routines much later. (But you know, we were still learning!)

Still, I did this long enough to know what comes next, and that my energy changed right along with the seasons. There are seasonal shifts in a homeschool. I have not ALWAYS done any one thing, and I’m fairly sure that, if you’ve done this long lifestyle enough, neither have you.

(I’ve written more about the seasons in our homeschool if you’d like to see how they’ve played out for us.)

I didn’t always schedule six months of formal studies. I didn’t always radically unschool. And I didn’t always use Charlotte Mason’s principles, or a classical approach, or project-based homeschooling, or child-led learning. But I have done ALL of them, at different times.

When Unschooling Wasn’t the Cure-All

After a couple of years of traditional homeschooling, or really, attempting to create a private school in our home, we entered a season of deschooling. That was when I first read John Holt’s Why Children Fail. His work radically shifted how I saw learning and what education really means. I sat my oldest daughter down at the local Starbucks and told her we would never do the traditional approach again. She could learn her way.

What I didn’t understand then was that unschooling wasn’t a panacea for the resistance I was experiencing. Six months later, we resumed a routine. It looked different from the first, and it was oriented to the kids right in front of me. Some of our kids craved routine, so much so that one asked me for a planner, colored markers, and activities to be responsible for every day.

We Start with “Let’s Do a Formal Homeschool Routine” in September

Here is what I often see. We start with, “Let’s do a formal homeschool routine.” Then we get tired of that, and despite things not quite working, we white-knuckle our way to Christmas. December is kind of fun, so we embrace that season. Our energy might renew after Christmas, or it might not.

January might bring more documentary days or field trips. By February, you may be researching the local school system because nothing seems to be working. By March, you’re looking forward to spring so you can head outside for nature and play. Charlotte Mason feels fitting for spring, when you can sketch and write poems outdoors. By May, you might be hankering to be done with the schedule altogether, and by summer you’ve declared yourself an unschooler.

We don’t all follow that identical seasonal shift. But watch yourself, and you’ll discover you have a notable one, and it may explain why you lose motivation for homeschooling at the same time each year.

And if you’d like a gentler way to let your homeschool hold more than one season at once, I wrote about allowing for two seasons in your homeschool.

You’re Not Inconsistent, You’re a Seasonal Being

If we haven’t factored ourselves into the mix of our homeschool years, we’ll also notice, right on cue, the season of overwhelm or burnout. Sometimes it arrives in years two, three, or four. Sometimes it comes later. Hopefully, that season compels you to release what isn’t working so you can recapture what is, instead of staying lost in the busyness of routine, children’s demands, and unrealistic expectations.

If you resonate with this, I want you to hear: this isn’t a sign of inconsistency. You’re not inconsistent. You’re a seasonal being.

Your capacity shifts for various reasons, and your energy has monthly shifts, for certain. But that idealized homeschool schedule is unaware that a human is at the helm. A schedule asks: did you get it all done? Your capacity asks: how much are you able to hold today, this week?

Overwhelm isn’t a sign that you’re incapable. It’s a load problem. There is simply too much to do, and it doesn’t align with reality. So you don’t need more structure, a better routine, or better systems, at least not at the root, because those things don’t touch the root of the problem.

Lose Motivation Homeschooling? Start With What You’re Carrying

If it’s a load problem, the first step is to get clear on what the load actually is. A time audit and a capacity audit will show you, and I’ve created a resource for each.

One mom shared her experience of the Time Audit in the Collective; she realized she was doing SO much in her day. That wasn’t what she expected to see, because she felt like she wasn’t doing enough. And it’s what I hear again and again from moms when they do their time audits.

On paper, they see they aren’t lazy. Still, they might be doing a lot of things that aren’t really what they want to do. They aren’t doing anything personally fuelling. They aren’t asking their partner to cover so they can get a break. And they don’t assume they’re owed any time for themselves in the first place.

Often, they simply aren’t clear on what really matters to them, and that is where motivation and capacity leak away. When we accept that we can’t do everything, and that we need to do the things that fuel our joy and energy, we build capacity.

When Your Body Changes the Math, and You Lose Motivation Homeschooling

Some things that deplete our capacity are part of our female story: our monthly hormonal shift, pregnancy, postpartum, and perimenopause.

I’m a coach, not a doctor. I do have a women’s health nursing background, and I’m married to a medical doctor, so I know that he and his peers weren’t taught about perimenopause in the mid-90s. It’s only really becoming part of the cultural conversation now, and many helpful resources are emerging, such as Dr. Mary Claire Haver’s. If any of this sounds like you, a conversation with your healthcare provider is a good place to start.

Perimenopause is not just hot flashes, and it can be one reason you lose motivation in life in general. It can be brain fog that arrives mid-sentence, so you forget what you were saying. (That has literally happened to me on the podcast.) Some women describe a rollercoaster of emotions. Sleep may no longer feel restful, and the energy that used to carry you through the afternoon isn’t there anymore.

Last week, we talked about anger and big emotions in Episode 3. Or if you’re wondering whether perimenopause is part of your story right now, I’ve written more about it here: 4 Steps for Homeschool Moms in Perimenopause.

The Calendar on the Fridge

In my first book, Homeschool Mama Self-Care: Nurturing the Nurturer, I wrote about marking our cycle on a monthly calendar on the fridge. That way, we knew when to expect variable energy and emotions, and the kids were forewarned. I jest, sort of. In my reality, my kids already knew, because I was buying potato chips and peanut M&Ms. There are no mysteries in a homeschool.

And you know what my kids said when they saw it on the calendar? They said: oh, THAT’S what’s happening. And I said: yes. That’s what’s happening. Also, I had three daughters, so it was happening a LOT later in our homeschool years.

Then I began perimenopausing, and putting it on the calendar stopped mattering, because it doesn’t like calendars. Perimenopause isn’t predictable. Whether you recognize it or not, it’s influencing your energy and capacity.

Why It Feels Like Something Is Wrong With You

Here’s the challenge: you think you’re less capable than you used to be, and that something is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you! Your body is going through a massive transition while you’re also running a household, a homeschool, and a life. And when you homeschool, it hits differently. You can’t call in sick and you can’t easily take a mental health day. You’re “on” from the moment you wake up until bedtime.

From my own experience, perimenopause has felt like my body changing its priorities. In some ways that’s been amazing, because it reordered my life priorities. In other ways it hasn’t: the sleep interruptions, the unexpected emotional ebbs and flows, and the need to eat differently and lift weights.

Pregnancy, postpartum, PMS, and perimenopause teach us the same thing. We can’t ignore our bodies as we homeschool. They directly declare our bandwidth and our energy, and we have to pay attention.

And I haven’t even touched on what else shapes your capacity: a spouse who isn’t supportive, health challenges, a partner who’s away for work, aging parents, mental health struggles, grief, or working outside the home too. All of it matters.

Why You Are the Most Important Curriculum in Your Homeschool

I say you’re the most important curriculum in your homeschool because what your kids get every day isn’t only the learning activities. It’s you: your energy, your patience, your capacity. When you’re nurtured, you give differently than when you’re depleted.

If you lose motivation homeschooling, you might wonder whether you need a better schedule, or whether you’re doing enough; instead, ask yourself about your energy and your capacity instead. And girlfriend, be realistic with yourself!

Here’s the question I’d like you to ask yourself this week: what season are you in right now? Not the season you think you should be in, but the one you’re actually in. How much energy do you have? What can you actually hold in it?

No pressure to have an answer. It’s just worth noticing.

Next Step: Module 3 of the Reimagine Mini-Course

If you want to go further, Module 3 of the Reimagine Your Homeschool mini-course, You Don’t Need a Better Schedule, is where we look at what you’re actually doing, what fuels you, and what you can actually hold this season.

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Lose Motivation Homeschooling? Come to the Live Reset

And if you need more than a module, there’s a live option coming. If you’d rather work through it with other moms and leave with a personalized 30-day reset plan, I’m hosting my 2-Hour Homeschool Reset workshop on Friday, October 30. A recording is available if you can’t make it live.

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Quick Answers: Why You Lose Motivation Homeschooling

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Also in This Season of Coming Home to Yourself

Episode 1: Coming Home to Yourself
Who this podcast is for, why you are the most important curriculum in your homeschool, and the permission you may not have been given yet.

Episode 2: How to Create a Homeschool Vision Statement
Why we skip our “why,” what it costs us, and how a vision can guide your homeschool year.

Episode 3: How to Understand Homeschool Mom Anger
The emotional atmosphere of your home, why anger is the tip of the iceberg, and the small 11 a.m. check-in that changed my mornings.

Episode 4: Why Do I Lose Motivation Homeschooling Every October?
Why the hope of September fades by mid-October, why you’re not inconsistent but a seasonal being, and how your body and your load change what you can hold.