When we move to a new community, or we’ve been shifting away from one community to another for various reasons, or just began homeschooling and know no one is doing it alongside us, we can feel lonely.
Since I moved nineteen times before I was 20 years old, (and lost track of how many moves I’ve experienced afterward), I can share a few tips on how to tackle loneliness and find homeschool community again.
Homeschool moms learn how to find homeschool community & tackle loneliness when they do a few things that might not be in their comfort zone.
How to find homeschool community when you want to create a new one or when you’ve moved?
1. Join local homeschooling groups.
Search online, likely on Facebook. Use the search term: Homeschool in “my place”. (But you’ve probably already thought of this step.)
2. Make your own homeschool group meet-ups or field trips.
When you make something, they will come. (Well, not always. Sometimes homeschool families don’t show when they said they would, in my experience, but you won’t know unless you try).
You can always head to a public play place, aka a trampoline gym, a swimming pool, a museum, or a park during school hours and you’re likely to find new friends there too.
3. Learn how to make friends.
I’ve spent a lifetime moving — so I learned most people aren’t threatening, and we can connect with anyone if we do this one thing: listen.
(And if they are threatening, they’re not your friends, so move on.)
Listen to their stories, listen to their interests, (& learn from them), and listen to their challenges.
4. Wanna make a fast friend? Listen intently to the person in front of you.
Be interested in other’s experiences, in how they see their world, or in what they enjoy doing.
Every human that crosses our path has something to offer each of us. When a new person is in your presence, take notice, listen, and learn.
5. Not everyone is your best friend.
So I don’t necessarily want to share my deepest darkest secrets with them. I could choose to take that risk, though.
I can build long, true friendships if I risk being the real me, being vulnerable at times, and consistently spending time with those new friends.
6. Recognize your idiosyncrasies.
I know how to introduce myself unobtrusively in a group, though this has been a learned skill for me.
From my insecurities, I either didn’t speak at all, or I came across too outspoken.
Somewhere in my relational learning, I realized everyone is nervous to connect with new people so just being myself was the fastest way of connecting the real me with someone new.
Present the fake me and even if they liked me, I wouldn’t feel connected to them. (Because I knew they didn’t know and like the real me).
7. Join the Homeschool Mama Book Club.
If you like reading self-development books and homeschool books, this is a space we can discuss interesting books, connect with other homeschool moms around the world, and even consider how these books can inform our homeschools.
What you allow yourself to think & consider influences how you feel…which influences how you act & engage in your homeschool. Because you want to SHOW UP in your homeschool intentionally.
Books We’ve Discussed…
- My Book, Homeschool Mama Self-Care: Nurturing the Nurturer
- Alison Gopnik’s The Gardener & The Carpenter
- Marie Forleo’s Everything is figureoutable
- Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart
- Gordon Neufeld’s Hold Onto Your Kids
- Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness at Home
- Sarah Susanka’s Not-So-Big Life
- Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication
- Amy Morin’s 13 Things Mentally Strong Don’t Do
- Julie Bogart’s Raising Critical Thinkers
- Rachel Gathercole’s Well-Adjusted Child
- Amber O’Neal’s Book, A Place to Belong (so we can build authentic community & connection)
- Richard Schwartz’s book No Bad Parts
8. Recognize it’ll take a couple years to feel like you belong.
You will quickly begin to recognize the people in your neighbourhood: your grocery cashier, the post office clerk, and the piano teacher’s booking assistant: this will help you feel more at home.
But those that are living in their own world (& have lived there for a while) might not notice you as you do them.
So be patient.
You’ll begin to be acknowledged and seen too. Gradually.
Keep showing up! It will happen when you’re first asked to join in on activities.
9. Volunteer or participate in local activities.
Engage in local community activities or volunteer your time.
Check with your local library, community center, or organizations that align with your interests. Not only will this help you meet new people, but it will also provide opportunities for your children to interact with others.
10. Connect with other parents through common interests.
Explore activities or classes that align with your interests or your children’s hobbies.
This can include sports teams, music lessons, art classes, or other extracurricular activities.
Engaging with other parents who share similar interests can lead to meaningful connections.
11. Consider the Homeschool Mama Patreon Support Group.
If you want to show up in your homeschool (& life) authentically, purposefully, and confidently, join our community.
Why join the Homeschool Mama Self-Care Patreon Community?
- Extended LIVE interviews with Homeschool Mama Self-Care podcast guests: you can chat with them & learn from them too!
- Homeschool Mama Support Chat: a monthly chat where we can connect and share in our homeschools, how we’re showing up on purpose, and just have fun “getting to connect” time.
- Workshops: writing workshops and various topics of your interest.
- Discounts on group coaching and one-on-one coaching opportunities.
- Discounts on self-directed Homeschool Mom courses in deschooling, self-compassion, overcoming overwhelm, the homeschool mom retreat, new homeschool mom mentoring, and building boundaries.
- Learn the latest offerings and encouragements from the Homeschool Life Coach from http://www.capturingthecharmedlife.com
12. Are homeschool mamas extroverted or introverted?
Both, of course.
Perhaps because we spend so much time with our children, some of us may not be as extroverted as we once were, or even more introverted than we once were because we are comfortable and content in our own worlds.
13. Calling all introverts.
Even if you’re not an extrovert, people need people, so if you’re not connected with people you feel supported by, you need to build stronger connections.
The one thing I’ve learned about making friends is that everyone needs friends, extroverts or introverts. Just because we’re introverted doesn’t mean we can or should do life without others.
Make sure you’re connected with people that know the true you and are available when you really need them.
Read more if you need to take care of homeschool mama’s socialization.
14. Learn to become your own best friend.
Make a date with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important thing.
Remember, building a community takes time, effort, and reaching out. Be proactive in seeking connections, attending events, and engaging with others. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations and invite other homeschooling families for playdates or meet-ups.
I hope this has helped you to answer the question of how you can find homeschool community;) Over time, you will likely find a supportive community that understands your homeschooling journey and provides companionship.
A Daily Homeschool Mama Journal for You!
Introducing the Daily Homeschool Mama Journal, your perfect companion to build time for yourself! With daily journal questions, weekly planner, and self-care activities, enhance your self-awareness and explore your identity while taking care of yourself. Start practicing self-awareness today!
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