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What Deschooling Can Do for You as a Homeschool Mom
How to deschool as a homeschool mom and rediscover your identity?
When I first began homeschooling nearly twenty years ago, I had no idea how profoundly it would transform our lives — not just in how we educated our kids, but in who we became as a family and as individuals.
What started as a desire to spend more time with my kids and follow their curiosities quickly became a deeper story of shedding old beliefs and discovering a life more aligned with our true selves.
Deschooling, for me, was the gateway to rediscovering my identity as a homeschool mom — moving away from the conventional “school mindset” and stepping into a freer, more authentic version of myself.
If you’re wondering how to deschool as a homeschool mom and rediscover your identity, this post will walk you through what it means, what it looks like, and how it can change your homeschool and life.
What Does It Mean to Deschool as a Homeschool Mom?
Deschooling is the intentional process of unlearning the traditional schooled or educational expectations and habits ingrained in us as parents from our own schooling experiences. Though often thought of as a transition phase for kids leaving school, deschooling is really for parents — especially homeschool moms.
What You’re Letting Go Of:
- The idea that learning must mirror school: textbooks, grades, and tests
- Rigid timelines dictating what children must learn and when
- The pressure to “keep up” with school standards at home
- The belief that busy schedules equal productive learning
- The expectation that you must be the “teacher” instead of a guide or mentor
- And all these other things…
Deschooling is mostly for me. I want to let go of my schoolish mindset and my fears of failing the homeschool review, so I can truly embrace a more child led and individualized learning path for my children.
Homeschool Mama of 3
What You’re Gaining:
- A fresh, expansive understanding of education and who it’s for
- Deeper trust and connection with your child through observation
- Confidence to follow your family’s unique rhythm, values, and interests
- Self-permission to embrace joy, curiosity, and flexibility in learning
- A rediscovery of your own identity beyond institutional norms
Deschooling isn’t just about education—it’s a profound journey toward reclaiming your identity as a homeschool mom and as a woman.
“You were wild once. Don’t let them tame you.”
— Erica Jong, Fear of Flying
Why Deschooling Isn’t Just About Your Child’s Education
Most people think deschooling is about helping kids adjust from school to homeschool. But the reality? Most kids are pleased as punch to have the space to explore their interests, the margins to breathe and sleep as they need, and the freedom not to be taught how to learn, but simply given the space to learn.
Deschooling is mostly about the parent’s mindset shift.
You begin to question the school-shaped beliefs about learning and parenting you absorbed—asking yourself: Does this serve the family and life we want? Or am I holding on to outdated rules that don’t fit us? And why am I doing that?
The essence of deschooling is about stepping away from fear and comparison, from “doing it right,” and stepping into a more authentic, trusting, and joyful way of living and learning.
Using the Deschool Your Homeschool Journaling Workbook can guide you gently through this transformative process, helping you reflect deeply, release old patterns, and embrace your unique homeschooling journey with clarity and confidence.
Deschool your Homeschool Journaling Workbook
The Deschool Your Homeschool Journaling Workbook is a self-coaching tool designed to help you redefine your homeschooling journey with clarity and confidence. Through thoughtful prompts and guided exercises, this workbook empowers you to:
- Reflect on your homeschooling experiences.
- Unpack preconceived notions about education.
- Identify barriers and aspirations.
- Create a personalized homeschool plan tailored to your family’s unique needs.
Discover how to shift your mindset, reconnect with your children, and design a homeschool life that aligns with your values. Start building a meaningful, purposeful homeschool today!
7 Ways Deschooling Helps You Rediscover Your Identity as a Homeschool Mom
1. Stop outsourcing authority
You learn to trust your own discernment instead of constantly seeking validation from experts, curriculum, or traditional standards.
Reflection: Where are you still asking permission to trust yourself in your homeschool?
2. Redefine what success means
You let go of grades and benchmarks and create your own definitions of success based on your child’s growth and your family’s values.
Reflection: What story about success are you holding onto—and whose story is it?
Listen to the episode to explore what success can look like for you:
3. See your conditioning and patterns
Deschooling uncovers old habits and beliefs from your own schooling that might no longer serve you or your family.
Reflection: What homeschool rules or reactions echo your own upbringing?
What you might want to deschool from.
4. Build Trust in Yourself
Every choice to follow connection over comparison strengthens your confidence and trust in your instincts.
Reflection: When did you last trust your instincts over external plans?
Consider listening to these episodes:
- How to Know if Deschooling is Right for You: 7 Signs you Need to Deschool
- How to Address Doubt in your Homeschool Choice with Confidence
- Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: How to Build Confidence as a Homeschool Mom
- What about gaps in my child’s home education?
- Is My Homeschooler Behind? The Truth About Learning at Their Own Pace
5. Make Space to Hear Your Own Voice
In the quiet, away from schedules and pressure, you reconnect with your dreams, values, and desires.
Reflection: When was the last time you were still enough to really hear yourself?
👉 Try this: Add a moment where you took a day with no plans — and what surprised you.
Listen to this:
- 4 Reasons for Finding Your Writing Voice as a Homeschool Mom
- 7 Remarkable Lessons from a Weekend Away: Homeschool Realities
- 7 ways to find quiet & build boundaries in your homeschool
- Self-Care & Deschooling: Is there a Helpful Connection?
- Discover Your Unique Voice: Beyond your Homeschool Mama Identity
6. Find Joy Beyond Your Roles
John Holt recognized that learning doesn’t happen on a straight, predictable timeline. It’s messy, spontaneous, and deeply personal.
Deschooling invites you to honor your own nonlinear journey — not just your children’s. Your growth as a homeschool mom (and as a woman) won’t look like anyone else’s. It’s full of detours, pauses, leaps, and surprises.
“We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way.”
— John Holt
🔹 Journal Prompt for Homeschool Moms:
When have you learned something valuable through an unexpected, nonlinear, or “imperfect” process in your homeschooling (or personal) life?
Reflection: What brings you joy just because it’s yours?
Listen to the episode: Deschooling and Life Purpose: Is there a connection?
7. Model Authenticity for Your Kids
Showing up as your true self teaches your children to do the same, growing in trust, curiosity, and grace together.
Holt believed true learning — and true living — comes from the freedom to follow one’s interests, questions, and desires without coercion.
Deschooling isn’t just about setting your kids free from rigid structures. It’s about setting yourself free — reclaiming the wild, intuitive, creative woman inside you who was never meant to be tamed.
🔹 Journal Prompt for Homeschool Moms:
Where in your life do you feel the spark of your untamed self wanting to come alive again through homeschooling? How can you nurture that spark?
Reflection: How might your kids benefit from seeing your authentic self?
How to deschool as a homeschool mom and rediscover your identity?
Recognize that deschooling changes your homeschooling experience.
More peace, less pressure
Letting go of school-like performance lets your homeschool breathe with rhythm and presence instead of rigid checklists. This peace helps kids feel safe to explore and learn freely.
More connection, less control
You shift from managing every detail to co-creating the learning journey with your children, building trust and deepening relationships.
Feeling like yourself again
When you reconnect with your true identity beyond homeschool expectations, burnout fades. You show up alive and authentic—and your kids learn by your example.
Deschooling isn’t just about changing the way we educate — it’s about changing the way we see ourselves.
As you step away from old systems and expectations, you’re invited to rediscover the curious, capable, and creative woman you’ve always been. It’s a chance to rebuild your homeschool — and your life — on a foundation of trust, joy, connection, and authenticity. The deschooling journey may feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s ultimately a pathway back to yourself. Trust the process. Trust your children. And most importantly, trust the woman you are becoming.
Your deschooling story may feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s ultimately a pathway back to yourself. Trust the process. Trust your children. And most importantly, trust the woman you are becoming.
Your Deschooling Journey Awaits
Deschooling is a path to freedom—not just for your children, but for you as a homeschool mom. It’s a process of shedding assumptions, reconnecting with your values, and rediscovering the joy and authenticity in your homeschool life.
Ask yourself today:
What parts of yourself are ready to be rediscovered through deschooling?
The 2-Hour Deschooling Breakthrough
A transformative workshop to help you break free from the school mindset and create a homeschool that truly works for your unique family.
In this breakthrough session, you’ll:
- Identify which school mindsets are causing unnecessary stress in your homeschool
- Gain clarity on what truly matters in YOUR family’s educational journey
- Develop confidence in answering questions about gaps or concerns
- Discover how to simplify your routine and focus on meaningful learning
- Learn to release unrealistic expectations that drain your energy
- Create more genuine connection time with each of your children
- Walk away with an action plan to immediately transform your homeschool atmosphere
How It Works:
During our 2 hours together, we’ll:
- Assess your current homeschool reality and what’s actually working
- Explore your children’s unique learning styles and needs
- Clarify your own definition of “education” (beyond textbooks and tests)
- Engage in perspective-shifting conversations and exercises
- Develop a practical plan aligned with your family’s true values
Bring a journal and pen (no kids, please). This is your time to dig deep and reimagine your homeschool journey.
✨ If you’re ready to dive deeper into how to deschool as a homeschool mom and rediscover your identity, I invite you to join the upcoming Deschooling Breakthrough Workshop on May 7. This workshop will support you in shedding old mindsets and stepping confidently into your true homeschool journey.
I hope to see you there!
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Teresa Wiedrick
I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.
