Am I doing this homeschool thing good enough?
This is a thought that most homeschool mamas have experienced.
Sometimes it’s when mama has had a tough day with the kids (& the question pops up when the kids are snuggled cozily in their beds at the end of the night).
“Are you homeschooling good enough?”
- Sometimes this is the question when homeschool mama is seeing all those clever activities other mamas are doing in their homeschools on Pinterest, Instagram, or TikTok.
- Sometimes this is the question in her head when Grandpa questions the content of a child on what they’re doing playing outside after lunch.
- Sometimes this is the question after a day of errands when nearly every stranger she meets asks if her kids are done school, what grade their kiddos are in, and whether they learn better in the home environment.
Even if we didn’t have a steady stream of potential comparing or questioning, we have all the mama feels that compel us to critique how we’re approaching our kids, how we’re providing for them, and whether we’re doing it good enough.
Here are a few questions to consider so you can overcome that feeling and no longer have to answer the question, “Are you homeschooling good enough?”
1. Let’s talk about “good enough.” What are you trying to measure your homeschool against (aka the other place that might be “good enough”)?
Let’s just consider the possible options of what you’re trying to measure your homeschool against:
- Is it our in-laws’ expectations of what our homeschool should look like that we’re comparing ourselves to?
- Are we accustomed to what an education looks like based on our conventional educational experiences?
- Would an ideal homeschool be like that pretty one on Instagram with those hand-drawn nature cards, a homeschool room with colour-coordinated posters, and flash cards in the morning basket?
- Would your homeschool be ideal if you could include two languages in your routine like Charlotte Mason did in her school?
- Would it be good enough if your kids excelled on the state or province’s standardized testing?
- Would it be good enough if the homeschool moms you rub shoulders with gave you a stamp of approval?
- Or, of course, you fill in the blank! There are so many options.
What would your perfect, ideal homeschool look like?
2. Why wouldn’t what you’re doing be good enough?
You are your child’s greatest advocate: there just isn’t anyone out there that sees your child in all of her/his fullness as you do.
Oh sure, you don’t have the full picture because they’re still in development, but you’re the closest thing to clarity for that child.
And you care beyond everyone in your world.
- If you noticed your child wasn’t walking properly, would you just leave it and not do something about it?
- If you noticed your child was terrified of swimming lessons and diving under the water, would you force him to do it without support?
- If you noticed your child loved Ancient Greek history but had no interest in Ancient Roman history, would you insist he does the one he disliked if he had a choice?
- Is the teacher at school getting up in the middle of the night to attend to your child’s nightmares, paying for his new school indoor shoes, or concerned that he’s not getting along with his siblings?
And that is because you care the MOST for your child.
You are your child’s greatest advocate, because you notice, and you care.
So why would you think there was someone else or somewhere else that would be able to accomplish a more complete and provide a more individualized education than which you could provide?
If you need a boost, an encouragement, that you can do this thing, read the Homeschool Mama Daily Affirmations every morning to remind yourself how you want to relate to your homeschool child and how you want to show up in your homeschool.
You are good enough & you are up to the task.
I am uniquely qualified for what my children need most. My value and worth are separate from my children’s successes and failures. I am committed to my own emotional and physical health. My healing directly impacts my joy as a parent. I am not a victim of my circumstance.from the Homeschool Mama Daily Affirmations
3. Do you ever feel that you’re not good enough in other areas of your life too?
When we tend to have an uncomfortable feeling in one part of our lives, we’re usually experiencing that in another part of our lives.
So where might you be feeling not good enough somewhere else in your life?
- Are you struggling with perfectionism?
- Do you feel like those around you always expect more?
- Are you always expecting more from you too?
- Do you expect unrealistic things from your kids?
Can I ask you a few questions about that not-good-enough feeling?
- Do you remember when first experienced it?
- What was the scene like?
- Who was involved?
- What did they say?
- Why did you believe that what they said had value?
- Why did you believe them?
- Did you ever feel like you came to the place of feeling good enough?
- How is that not-good-enough experience influencing you right now?
4. What would make it good enough anyway?
Have you considered this question?
This question right here, what would make you a “good enough” homeschooler is the one you want to dig into.
What’s the end goal to “good enough”?
Is it the end goal…
- Do you accomplish a certain number of hours for your homeschool every day for a certain number of weeks every school year?
- You do every school subject with your kids every day?
- Are you always emotionally present with your kids?
- Are you never reacting or triggered by them?
- Should they be in the 80th percentile after standardized testing?
- Should they always have an answer for their Great-Uncles quizzing on World War history?
- Your child has a sense of themselves, knows what they love to do, expands their understanding of the world, and knows how to communicate with others and express care towards others.
There is no right answer.
What your goal is and what my goal is for our homeschools are going to be different.
But is your end goal reflecting your values and your intentions?
And if they are, is that good enough?
People also ask:
- Do you offer one-on-one coaching? Why, yes I do.
- How to Plan for your Upcoming Homeschool when You’re Not Sure You Want to Continue
- A Homeschool Mama Will Benefit from Coaching for Homeschool (& Life)
- Perspective-Shifting Homeschool Coaching Discussions
- 7 Effective Tools to Build Boundaries (& Why You Require Them)