How to create happiness in our homeschools? On the outside looking in, it would seem that a homeschool life is a happy life.
And it is.
So many freedoms, so many memory-making opportunities, and such an individualized education offered to our homeschooled kiddos.
But it doesn’t take much to succumb to the energy of unhappiness.
- Because there’s a sense that you’ll never get out from under a mountain of laundry.
- You’re never going to have a clean, clear kitchen.
- You’ll always have gross, molding science experiments on the kitchen counter.
- You’ll be underslept permanently.
- You’ll have to field rude teenagers, conflictual kids, bored kids, and complaining kids.
- You’ll be stuck in the driver’s seat until your child leaves home (or at least till they get their license).
- You’ll never do enough or do the right things for your kids.
- You’ll forever expect the unrealistic.
- You’ll forever be fielding goofy questions from the public. (You actually will.)
- And you’ll always receive unsupportive questions & comments from concerned family.
“The greater part of our happiness depends on our disposition and not on our circumstances.”–Martha Washington
Tools I’ve learned that can help in creating happiness in our homeschools:
1. Don’t do what everyone else is doing.
And clearly, you’re not. You’re a homeschooler.
- Do what you want to do.
- Do what you were meant to do, even what you were created to do.
- And do it with all your gumption.
But when you do your homeschool or your life on your own terms, always expect that people won’t understand.
2. Don’t care deeply what other people think.
Yes, they can be a healthy mirror of who you are or what you think about life.
Yes, you can learn from others.
But all too often, their opinion means TOO much and dictates your opinion of yourself or important things in your life.
It doesn’t need to.
4. Circumstances don’t dictate happiness.
Now I am not talking about when your aunt dies, or you get divorced, or you bet and lost the house.
You should feel sad, mad, bad…feel whatever you’re feeling. Your feelings are a natural response to your actual life experiences.
But own it: “I feel this way because…”
And then figure out how to settle those feelings and render them into submission so you keep going on, learn from life, and allow the unbeautiful things in life to help weave an even more beautiful life.
5. You get to decide if you’re happy.
And yet I am talking about when your aunt dies, or you get divorced, or you bet and lose the house.
If you work toward that end, of deciding to be happy, you are more likely to hit it.
And lest you tell me, yeah, but…here’s my story of trouble and woe…
…I will sit and listen. I will empathize with your heart. Because it was trouble and woe. It might still be trouble and woe.
And yet, and yet, and yet…Girlfriend, what are you going to do about it?
6. I have been there, had that trouble and woe in enough avenues of my life that I could write a series of books (might be doing that already).
And you’ll hear all about my been there done that stories when you join me in one-on-one or group coaching sessions.
It’s because I’ve been there, done that I KNOW that you don’t have to stay there.
So choose not to stay there.
7. Include people in your life that bring value to your life, or that you can bring value to.
Including people that boost your image, or you feel you must include, or that everyone else is including, is a reason for self-induced frustration.
Some people revive histories of insecurities and shame in our minds which might require a temporary separation until we’ve dealt with that insecurity and shame.
But what you don’t want to do: pretend that the issue isn’t an issue for the sake of…(you-fill-in-the-blank)…and continue with that self-induced frustration.
8. Give more than you expect.
Life is about receiving.
- We like to eat yummy food,
- we like to be entertained,
- we like to see new things,
- we like to go on field trips,
- we like to read new books,
- we like to meet new people,
- but it’s when we give that we feel most alive, most meaningful.
And life is about giving.
Toolbox for Big Emotions Workbook
Journal questions that aid in your self-exploration, to get curious about what you’re feeling, how you’re taking care of yourself, and what your general thought patterns are as you homeschool, so you can show up on purpose in your homeschool.
9. Don’t let angry, frustrating, or disappointing feelings keep you occupied.
…Because when you do, you’re depleting your energy.
Sure it is natural to feel angry, frustrated, or disappointed. Feel those feelings. But don’t stay there.
If you could hire a court reporter to translate all your thoughts, you’d quickly discover which feelings, or thoughts, consumed you.
And it might not look pretty.
They do just happen, of course. But we can learn to harness them like a horse.
And if you know horses: they are big, they are powerful, and they don’t let you ride unless you train ’em.
10. Self-respect & see yourself as valuable.
Think of yourself as high as you think of others.
Your time is limited, so get busy…don’t waste time.
Watch yourself: are you being true to yourself?
11. We each live in our thoughts and the experience of life happens based on how we experience it.
In other words, we see what we want to see.
We comfortably project onto others and the situations around us.
We just do! (And we are highly unaware that we do).
How can you know for sure? Because you have a friend or a partner or another family member that doesn’t the scenario in front of you the same.
Hence, we see things differently. We project onto others and situations differently.
And why does that matter? Because it influences how we approach our homeschool days, our homeschool kids, and our lives.
There is no perfectly happy homeschool, but we can use these ten principles to move toward happier homeschools.
People also ask:
- How to Incorporate the Happy Homeschool Hygge, Twenty Easy-to-Adopt Practices
- How do you do a homeschool family of six? Here is my story of hexagonal happiness.
- How to Deal with an Unhappy Homeschool Day
- How can I build happiness into my homeschool? Use the Toolbox for Big Emotions Journaling Workbook
- Do you offer one-on-one homeschool (& life) coaching? Why, yes I do!